Dreaming of You
by Kagha
Summary: Songfic / Matau has feelings of love for Nokama, but he is afraid that she is unaware of this, and is jealous of her closeness with the Toa Metru of Fire rather than himself... MatauxNokama. Orig. post date: 11/11/08


_Late at night when all the world is sleeping__  
>I'd stay up and think of you<em>

Night swept over the silver sea like the shadow of a massive crow, and cold crept like an icy claw. The pale stars shone down on the lapping waves as they undulated ceaselessly below, their silver surface reflecting the thin light. A small vessel rode a wave, rocking up and down continuously, water battering over the six outstretched mechanical legs that acted as oars. Obviously it was not built for this kind of operation, but it dealt. Inside, six canisters were stacked inside its cabin, their color tones matching that of the sea. The air was just as cold in here, but somehow the ones inside managed to sleep. There was little room, given the cabin of the transport was barely two bio wide. An unblocked threshold led to the cockpit, which was bare to the winds; but then again, this was a Vahki Transport, built for traversing the controlled environment of Metru Nui, not the harsh waves of the silver sea. The five Toa were sprawled against the walls or on the floor of the transport, sleeping. The pilot, the Toa Metru of Air Matau, had found some time off operating the vessel, made sure their route was a safe one, a crept into the warmth – well, he couldn't call it that, but at least there were three walls and a ceiling – of the cabin. It was cold, dark, and silent other than the softness of his and the others' breathing and the gentle whispering of the waves outside, and his own drowsy thoughts; well past midnight, deep into the night. His eyes glazed wearily over his fellow comrades, and then suddenly froze on the sleeping Toa of Water. His heart lobbed over. She looked so serene right now, more peaceful than he had ever seen her. He wished he could go over and scoop her up in her arms, and give her warmth... his eyes shut.

_And I'd wish on a star__  
>That somewhere you are thinking of me too<em>

Through the tiny break in the center of the cabins ceiling, a single star shone in the black sky, giving off a feeble thin ray of light into the cabin. Matau lifted his eyes and stared at the star. Ever since they'd become Toa Metru, Matau had felt for the Toa of Water – ever since he'd made that reckless mistake when he first received his Aero Slicers and was fooling around. She'd impressed him with her personality, her beauty and her grace, and her wisdom. But over the duration of their travels, she became more aloof – she obviously thought him a friend and a potentially good Toa, but she never showed any hints of any feelings for him in a more intimate way. He felt his brows knot in a frown, and a memory came to him, vivid as the star in the sky. She remembered jumping into the rear of the Vahki Transport in pursuit of Toa Lhikan's spirit star. Vakama had hung back on the bumper, looking morose. Matau noted how this seemed to trouble Nokama, and how she'd gone to comfort and reassure the Toa of Fire. He knew it was wrong to have anything against Vakama for such, but he did feel jealous. It seemed that she paid more attention, was more concerned about him rather than Matau. He cursed himself silently for thinking that. Eyes still fixed on the star; he wished that somewhere inside, maybe Nokama felt an attraction for him. Maybe.

_Cause I'm dreaming of you tonight  
>Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight<em>

Suddenly, Onewa rolled over onto his back and his arm shot over Matau's chest. His mouth opened wide and he began to snore. Matau groaned. Onewa's arm was awfully heavy.

The Toa of Air rolled over himself, pausing a bit guiltily as the Toa of Stone's arm _clump!_ed down onto the floor. He sighed, and suddenly grogginess and sleepiness filled his mind, as if it'd gone for a walk and had just returned. His eyes shut again, and the picture of the Toa of Water, laughing, filled his mind. A subconscious smile tugged on the corners of his mouth.

_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be__  
>Then here in my room,<em>_  
>Dreaming about you and me<em>

And as sleep overtook him, a thought sprung up lazily like smoke from a vent in one of those mask-maskers forges. He knew that they had to get the six Matoran they carried to safety – to where, who knew. And that would take a while, if he surmised right. And then they would have to come back and rescue the whole of the Matoran. Now that Makuta was defeated, all that was left was a dead, empty city. But he couldn't help thinking that maybe, after all this was done, that he and Nokama could have a future. The thought gave him a new hope.

_Wonder if you even see me__  
>And I wonder if you know I'm there<em>_  
>If you looked in my eyes<em>_  
>Would you see what's inside?<em>_  
>Would you even care?<em>

By the time the others awoke, Matau was at the cockpit again, manning the controls. He cast a glance back, seeing the colorful figures writhing reluctantly up to consciousness. "Hey, 'morning sleeping beauties."

"Matau?" It was Nokama's voice. For an instant a pinch tugged at the edges of his heart, but he brushed it away. "Yeah, I'm here." He said. "What, you didn't expect me to go to bed-sleep and leave the ship to hurtle-crash, did you?"

Once the sound of groaning, stretching, yawning, and clattering clumsily around stopped, there was silence for a long moment, before footsteps came up onto the cockpit. Nokama stood beside him and sniffed the beautiful scent of the sea in morning. Then more footsteps, and Vakama emerged. Matau fought to smother to a reactive frown. The Toa of Fire looked more loose than so lately – _you ever-know, after the letdown-0failure of the Great Disks, the crazy vision-dreams, the nagging thought that he's a cross-wi__red freak, the reinforcement to that when we ever-found Lhikan and found out we were supposed to quick-save the Matoran, the mad-anger of finding out Turaga Dume is Makuta, and the death of Lhikan ... and the death of Lhikan. Well, I guess we all have._

The Toa of Water looked to the Toa of Fire, more than a hint of worry in her eyes. She placed her hands on his shoulders, "Vakama... are you better?"

Matau felt his heart turn white and his joints stiffen. He clenched his teeth. He wanted to spit out, "I'm right here, you two know!" but didn't. But then his anger was washed away by sadness. Did Nokama even have the slightest idea about the way he felt about her? Did she even care about him?

_I just wanna hold you close__  
>But so far,<br>All I have are dreams of you_

The days went on pretty much routinely. Wake up, eat whatever rations they had, ask Matau a bunch of questions like "any sign of land?" or "how goes the sailing?" or "any progress?" or crud like that, and it ticked him off. That was, of course, until they came to the cave... they braved massive monsters, dangers and mysteries on their journey. Other than that, Matau's personal feelings were dampened too, as Nokama constantly checked on Vakama, talked with him, reassured him, a showed a good and noticeable deal of concern and affection. He wished she would act even remotely like that with him. But maybe it was because she thought he didn't need it. Because she thought he was strong. The thought made him feel good, but still he felt jealous and isolated from the Toa of Water.

_So, I wait for the day and the courage to say  
>How much I love you<em>

Finally, they stopped for a break. Matau pushed aside his fears and prodded up through the group to reach Nokama. She was running a wet cloth over the armor of her arms and legs, cleaning herself. "Nokama?"

She looked up at him, first startled but then her expression lowered and became unreadable. "Yes?"

He glanced over to the others. Nuju gave a curious glance over, but nothing more. "Can I speak-talk with you?"

She looked surprised now. "...Sure."

He led her deep into a tunnel, away from the others. Nokama looked at him, frowning. "Are you alright, Matau? Is, is something wrong?"

He looked at her confused face. "No... it's just... Nokama, I have to tell you something." She nodded. Matau had never felt so nervous in his life. "Nokama. I l..." the words caught in his throat. Curiosity made her brows climb. "L... I l..."

"What is it?"

"I l..." he knew he couldn't do it. Instead, he improvised: "I lied yesterday when I speak-told you that I didn't appreciate your help-assistance. Against the ... Jaga ... yesterday ... yeah, thanks."

She blinked. "Okay. You're, um, welcome. Is that... is that all?"

He nodded, unable to speak. She nodded at him, and then disappeared back down the tunnel. Left in silence, Matau stared at his feet, a useless grimace curling his features, biting his lip anxiously. He truly had never felt this way before, and it troubled him. He couldn't even confess his feelings.

He shut his eyes, breathing slowly.

_I'll be dreaming of you tonight  
>Till tomorrow, I'll be holding you tight<em>

A cold wind was sweeping the cave when he got back to the others. They were all asleep, except Nokama. She said a quiet "Hey" when he got in. He replied with the same, snuggling up on the stone ground and falling asleep. The Toa of Water entered his dreams again. He couldn't stop thinking about her. Then something struck him like an ice pick being driven through his chest. A word that started with an L flitted around in his head, and it wasn't loathe.

_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be__  
>Then here in my room,<em>_  
>Dreaming about you and me<em>

He felt a soft hand touch his shoulder. A hollow image of Nokama hovered in front of him. "Matau," she said. "Matau..." but then the image disappeared, and the voice became louder, more resonant. The hand on his shoulder began to shake him violently. He woke with a start, and twisted around to see the Toa of Water, kneeling beside him, the real one.

"You were mumbling in your sleep," she said.

"I was having a ... dream."

"About what?"

"You," Matau blurted, then his hand snapped up to his mouth, and he saw surprise splash onto her features. "I mean, I mean, no, not _you_, but... uh... well..."

The surprise then faded, and she said, "It's time we get moving again. He nodded, and she stood and left. He got to his feet and fought back a yawn. He watched as she went, noting the graceful movements of her body as she walked, her lithe figure, the way she ... the way she looked at Vakama.

He shut his eyes. He couldn't stop feeling like this. He couldn't stop thinking of her.

_Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming of you__  
>Ahhh...I can't stop dreaming<em>

Late at night when all the world is sleeping

_I'd stay up and think of you_

It was cold tonight. Matau sat in a rocky corner, his armor pressed against the rugged stone. He sighed, the thought of Nokama never leaving his mind. He stared up at the ceiling, past its rock, as if he could look into the stars beyond ... _if_there were any stars beyond.

_And I still can't believe that you came up to me__  
>And said, "I love you"<br>I love you too_

Suddenly, footsteps broke the silence. He started, but then saw it was only Nokama. He frowned. What was she doing up? It was late! Well, he didn't know that for a fact, since there was no sky around him, but he was pretty sure.

The Toa of Water made her way into the small chamber and sat beside him. "Matau," she said in greeting. He nodded. A long moment passed, and he just stared up at the ceiling. Then she said, "Matau, I know what you've been thinking."

He jolted on the inside. What? She did. Was it that obvious? He suddenly felt very self-conscious.

"I know you think that I've been... well, I know you see the way I treat Vakama. I know how you feel about it."

She looked at him. He couldn't return the look, feeling way too nervous. She continued, "But the thing is, Vakama isn't sure of himself yet. Somebody has to be there to reassure him. Nuju and Whenua won't, and Onewa sure doesn't give a rat's tail. So I'm there. I don't have feelings for Vakama... not in that way, anyways."

This time he turned to look at her, and emotion clouded her eyes. "The thing I'm trying to say," she said. "Is that... well..." she reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. "I love you, Matau. I've always only loved you."

A moment passed. Was this really happening? Matau had always thought she didn't even notice his feelings; that she didn't think of him as anything but a friend and comrade. But apparently, he was wrong. The Toa of Water had surprised him again. "I love you too, Nokama."

_Now I'm dreaming with you tonight__  
>Till tomorrow, and for all of my life<em>

His arms slid around her and they embraced deeply, and he could feel the beat of her heart against his chest. This was the one thing he'd been dreaming about for many nights now. Nokama, the Toa of Water. And here she was, in his arms. There was not a moment in his life better than this – not the time he became a Toa, not racing through chutes, nothing. No emotion compared to the one that echoed in his heart right now. Love.

_And there's nowhere in the world I'd rather be__  
>Then here in my room,<em>_  
>Dreaming with you endlessly...<em>


End file.
